Rosemary DeFeo Installed

By John Kennedy, Campaign Manager- Committee to Elect DeFeo (ed. note: it has been reported that due to sound system problems, many were unable to hear the presentation. For a small fee, Mr. Kennedy will recreate the performance for you.)

Only once in a great while there comes along a person this special - someone who is good-looking, charming, witty, humble, intelligent; someone who really cares about his/her fellow man and works to improve the human condition.

But tonight is not about me - it’s about Rosemary DeFeo, president-elect of the Rotary Club of Southington. Late last December, Rose approached me after a weekly meeting about helping her run for President of the Southington Rotary Club. “John,” she said in an exasperated tone, “Did you hear Rod Greaves has announced that he wants to be president for yet ANOTHER year? My God, that must be like 5 years in a row! He thinks he’s FDR, for Pete’s sake! Someone has GOT to stop him for the sake of the club and I’m just the one to do it. But I need your help. Will you be my campaign manager?”

I said, “Rose, calm down. Rod is a friend of mine, but please don’t hold that against me. We’ve been on the infamous Apple Harvest Booth setup committee together for years. And Rod is the one who sponsored me as a Rotarian. But, I must agree with you, Rod has become quite the little dictator these last few years and I think it’s time for a change. Yes, I will help you unseat the tyrant.”

So I had Rose compose a listing of Rod’s legacy to be used against him in the campaign. Just listen to his legacy!

A partial listing of the Greaves atrocities includes:

First, the overthrow of the Rich Corcoran administration and reinstalling himself as president was unconscionable. And remember when he forced that car raffle on us a few years ago, making us go to the ends of the earth for weeks at a time to sell those damn tickets? Then he had the audacity to take all the credit for himself! And I TOLD him that the Miata was the wrong car to raffle off, but he just ignored me. I remember hearing him mutter under his breath, “What does a dumb broad know about cars.” I could have punched him! Our weekly meetings are chaos, consistently starting late, the singing is pathetic and no one listens when he’s talking (not that you can blame them). And he refuses to learn any of the new members’ names; I thought Mike Mathieu was some distant relation of Walter Mathau for the first 6 months he was a member here. Plaid shirts. I’ve seen so many plaid shirts in the last few years that I thought I was stuck in an awning convention time warp! Gifts & Grants: I think the last straw was the approval of the $50,000 grant to the “New Britain Real Estate Renovation Trust” which Rod told us was going to help the needy in our state get affordable housing. Well, it turns out that the RE Trust was a shell corporation registered in the Caymen Islands and it was owned by none other than “Slumlord Properties, LLC” which, as everyone knows, is Rod Greaves/Steve Parsons’ sleazy real estate empire.

So Rose used these items very effectively in her hard-hitting campaign. I think it opened the eyes of a previously uninformed membership. Next, I told Rose to assemble a cabinet that would show her commitment to reform. She chose:

Treasurer- John Salerno: John would be charged with trying to get some of that $50,000 back from Slumlord Properties, LLC (and maybe get some of his tasty ribs). Secretary- Mike Mathieu: Rose chose Mike because he seems to be, well, kind of a Bulldog, willing to see things through to completion. And I’m going to make it a point to force Rod Greaves to introduce him at every meeting until he gets Mike’s name right. Vice president- John Ryan: This was an important choice. John was chosen for his sensitive and non- confrontational nature, which would be needed to heal the wounds of years of tyranny.

So, with the slate of officers set, Rose commenced her presidential election campaign - giving speeches, kissing babies, wiretapping the Greaves campaign headquarters - the usual campaign trail stuff. It was not easy, for Rod can be very intimidating. Rose told of her supporters being harassed about their attendance and being forced to write letters explaining their absences. Any initiatives, like Rose’s plan to bring back the legendary Rotary grinder for Apple Harvest, were met with staunch resistance from the administration, who wanted to push through its pet project of plaid uniforms for all the school children in Southington.

But Rose was relentless.

One of the most effective campaign tools, was Rose sitting in a corner with her guitar singing protest songs as Rod conducted his usual “I’m Rod Greaves and you’re not” meetings.

Come senators, congressmen Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Slowly members began to notice; there was revolution in the air.

But when election day came, veteran Club observers didn’t give Rose a chance against the powerful Rod Greaves political machine. Greaves usually got his followers to, as he put it, vote early and vote often. But, in one of the closest elections in Club history, Rosemary DeFeo defeated the incumbent and tonight will be installed as president of the Southington Rotary Club for the year 2005-2006! Congratulations!

Telegram!!!!! I’m aghast! This is a telegram from Rotary International concerning our slate of officers. It reads: Dear President-elect DeFeo: Because your vice presidential candidate, Dr. John Ryan, is still on Rotary International probation for his "Reign of Terror" and uncontrolled spending while president of the Club (a situation from which the Club is still reeling), I must direct you to name Rod Greaves as your vice-president for the coming year. I have passed this information along to the Chair of the Southington Rotary Trust, I forget his name - the guy with the boat. Thank you and have a wonderful Rotary dinner. Ima Reely Bigdeil, Rotary Int'l